You never know the meaning of money until it's in short supply.

I remember the shock I felt one day. We'd been paying our basic bills on credit, a while after Dad lost his job.

So that day I overheard a girl talk about a great deal she found at a salon where she had French nails done.

"It only cost $20," she said to another girl, who seemed impressed.

My jaw hit the floor because at that time $20 was a fortune to my family. It could've bought healthy groceries, or gas for our car, or heat for our home. (One winter we kept the heat so low, our house felt like a fridge.)

Since then I've learned how easily we middle-class folk throw our money into non-essentials while others quietly exist in want.

I want to be more mindful of how I use my money and what it's value really is. What's pocket change to us might mean the world to another family who's fallen into hard times.

So I've tried to change my spending habits, and sort of see them in the bigger picture. I ask myself twice if I really need the item, or whether the 'sale' is really a good deal after all.

And I'll never look at a $20 bill the same way again.

"Find out how much God has given you and from it take what you need; the remainder is needed by others." — Saint Augustine

There's no doubt each of us defines "need" differently, but Saint Augustine's sentiment can still inspire us to reconsider our 'needs' and 'wants' from day to day. An old conversation about money was recently revived at an online community at which I'm a member, which forced me to further evaluate my take on the matter. The member who originally started the topic wrote:

how & what did your parents teach you about the value of money?

My parents taught me to be responsible, not to put something on credit if we can't already afford it (that's assuming one isn't in a desperate situation with no other option), to treat ourselves once in a while without going overboard, to keep the cheque-book balanced and to pay bills on time, that extravagance is waste (i.e. *our* definition of extravagance, which is still very subjective), to tithe regularly, to be generous in helping others while saving for the future... My Grandpa actually taught me that last point by example too - he owned his own business for many years, and as a result he would often pay people above and beyond their fee for services (i.e. if they did a great job) and did on occasion offer someone a job specifically because he knew that person was in need. :)

However, through my parents' situation of long-term illness and subsequent unemployment over the last three years I've learned a whole *new* batch of lessons about money, possessions, and materialism. It's a new time of growth for me, because it's really the first time I've taken a good, long look at my beliefs on this. My family has recently learned to live without many things that we used to take for granted (e.g. cable tv, vacations and travelling, heat to keep us warm during Canadian winters, renting movies, expensive groceries like cheese and honey, new CDs, going to theatres, eating out at restaurants, and more). Sometimes we weren't able to pay our monthly bills, and during those dark days I had times where I felt as though I was drowning or almost as if I was being squeezed and was running out of oxygen. Very frightening at times. :(

Meanwhile, we heard how wealthier Christians were spending their money and I wondered: If they could just be happy with what they already have, pass up buying that next new whatever, and gift those savings to my parents instead... they have no idea how they could reduce my family's anxiety, restless nights, and tears.

I've been forced to face my own views on spending, and have slowly come to the decision to live with less - not to feel morally superior, but to prevent others from feeling as though they're drowning or running out of air in a situation they cannot escape on their own. Unfortunately these thoughts have taken a long time for me to learn, but I'm glad to have the chance to learn them at all!

Back to the original question, the same member asked us:

how do you view:
money - in general,
opportunities in which much money is earned,
ambition...what's healthy?

Considering everything I've learned over the years, especially through the hand my family has recently been dealt, my answer would have to be:

a) money is a gift and a tool we've been given, which is to be used wisely

b) opportunities to earn money - great! go for it! work hard, earn the big bucks (Schillings, Pounds, Euros, Yen, or whatever the case may be), take what you need, as St. Augustine wrote, and be generous with the rest

c) regarding ambition, if God gives us skills, knowledge, and opportunities to use them - then go for it! Dedicate them to work and to *other* pursuits as well (e.g. volunteering), and keep Love as the primary motivation behind it all.

“I do not believe one can settle how much we ought to give. I am afraid the only safe rule is to give more than we can spare. In other words, if our expenditure on comforts, luxuries, amusements, etc., is up to the standard common among those with the same income as our own, we are probably giving away too little. If our charities do not at all pinch or hamper us, I should say they are too small. There ought to be things we should like to do and cannot do because our charitable expenditures excludes them.” — C.S. Lewis (1898-1963), English author and scholar

My family's disability and unemployment dilemma has forced perpetual growing pains on us over the last three years, and the growth spurt seems to be going strong. The first year challenged my parents to come to accept that mental illness had indeed changed our lives forever. After much struggle they came to accept that unemployment would be be an indefinite reality in Dad's life. Meanwhile, my brother made the decision to sacrifice his own immediate goals in order to financially support my family. All four of us were faced with heavier stress than we had ever experienced, and began the long hard road through depression, fear, conflict, anger, grief, and illness - learning stress-management the hard way.

The second year brought into focus our family's fear of reaching out for help, even to friends and other family members. Our path took us to the verge of emotional breakdown before that line was finally crossed. I'm still scratching my head over it, actually, wondering why anyone in our situation wouldn't immediately seek support from family and friends! Maybe the problem has been passed down to us through our heritage: Families with a Mennonite background come from a tradition of hardship and hard work, and therefore might resist asking for help within family, friends, and church groups because it could be perceived as challenging tradition; it may lead people to allow pride or shame (or both) to prevent them from seeking tangible assistance. Or perhaps the problem is rooted in our political hang-ups: While there is a contingent of Mennonites across North America who espouse social justice ideals, there is also a contingent espousing economically conservative views who are vocal in their distaste for individuals or families who require any kind of social assistance, both formal and informal. This may prevent those in need from asking for help because they fear the ways in which they might be perceived or stigmatized as being lazy, abusers of the system, moochers, or thieves. A third possibility may be a distorted understanding of ‘humility’ and 'self-sacrifice' within our belief system that prevents those in need from asking for help, even in times of mounting distress. People may experience guilt from the act of help-seeking, believing that they must ignore their problems in order to help others. Well, whatever the reason, it's a problem that my family finally overcame last year, albeit painfully and under a heavy sense of defeat and failure. The road to accepting our current situation with grace has been a gradual one.

We are currently in Year Three, and our challenge this year has been to distinguish "need" from "want". We've sifted through our so-called needs, we've sacrificed, we've re-prioritized the usual commodities and self-indulgences that define the Western lifestyle, and we've learned to live on less. Even for a lower-middle class family such as ourselves there are things we can and will give up that will help those who live in extreme poverty. My brother and I have been especially challenged to re-evaluate Scripture's teaching on the lifestyle of charity and giving. We have a more intimate grasp of C.S. Lewis' statement above, that "If our charities do not at all pinch or hamper us, (...) they are too small. There ought to be things we should like to do and cannot do because our charitable expenditures excludes them." How terribly counter-culture that sounds, what a distinctly inconvenient, imbalanced, and extreme statement - not unlike Jesus' incitive teachings on love and sacrifice. ;) Lewis' conviction rings true in us regardless of how long or how deeply we may have bought into our culture's ideology of self-indulgence, because our conscience has always known the right and only way to love our neighbour. There's life in the pinch, especially if we choose to live without the extras so that others can have the basics to stay alive.

So, it looks like year three promises to bring another series of difficult, life-changing lessons. I think I'm looking forward to it.

Philippians 2:3b-4: "consider others as more important than yourselves. Everyone should look out not [only] for his own interests, but also for the interests of others."

Sometimes it feels as though a good 90% of our family and church communities are like the partiers inside this house: Engaged, included, comfortable, lighthearted and carefree. Because of my parents' financial and health situation, however, my immediate family cannot join in the festivities. Feeling somewhat isolated and lonely, we struggle through our challenges outside as we try not to peek through the window too often for fear that our feeble excuses for their distance and separation will begin to fracture, crumble, and crush our hearts in the process. Somewhere around 10% of those in our extended family and church communities take the time visit us outside, spend time with us, and shoulder our burdens with us now and then. Some of them actually connect with us on a regular basis and contribute quite a bit to our survival and well-being. The other 90% do know that we're out here; it's just that they don't have enough of a desire to come and see how we are doing, to shoulder our burdens with us, to find a way for us to join them...

I've recently been working on a paper for school about emotional, practical, and material support that is experienced by different ethnic groups from their extended family and church communities. One article outlines the experience of the African American community:

Historically, families and churches promoted and sustained Black community life, both during and following the period of slavery. (...) Currently, both families and churches perform a number of important functions that help to address several problematic issues facing Black families and communities. Family and church networks provide informal social support to address a variety of issues, including chronic poverty (Stack, 1974), coping with the loss of a loved one, providing assistance to those who are ill and disabled (Dilworth-Anderson, 1994; Dilworth-Anderson, Williams, & Cooper, 1999), the care and supervision of grandchildren (Burton, 1992; Burton, Dilworth-Anderson, & Merriwether-de Vries, 1995; Kivett, 1993; Minkler & Roe, 1993; Strom & Strom, 1993), and specifically, caring for the children of adolescent parents (Miller, 1994; Unger & Cooley, 1992).
Source: Chatters, L. M. et al. (2002). Patters of informal support from family and church members among African Americans. Journal of Black Studies, 33 (1), p. 66-85.

There are other ethnic communities out there that are very similar to the African American one when it comes to giving and receiving support within church and family circles. Mediterranean cultures are very similar in the way family and church combine to support one another in times of need - Greek and Italian cultures come to mind as an example. The culture of the American South seems to be similar. In the same way, Amish and Old Order Mennonite communities rally around each other through church and family networks. Chinese and other Asian cultures are usually more community-oriented as well. The main strength of these societies is that they seem to rally around each other without question - not just with the odd piece of advice, but with a true dedication to help each other through, or out of, any kind of challenging situation, whatever the cost. It's the kind of support that takes time, personal resources, energy, emotion, sacrifice, and hard work.

Other areas of the world seem to be far more individualistic and isolated from one another. Northern Europe as well as much of Canada and the northern US, for instance, have always struck me as colder places, not in terms of temperature, but in terms of extended families' and church members' relationships with one another. There's some kind of overzealous, self-destructive need for privacy, the kind that shields others out in times of distress, whether you're on the potential giving- or receiving-end of the needed help.

I've gone through some major moments of pain in the past, during which time I felt as though I was terribly alone, whether I was hanging out with my extended family or sitting in church on a Sunday morning. I have to admit that on more than one occasion I've considered submerging myself in one of the 'warmer' cultures that I've often envied. It isn't that I just want to feel like I'm surrounded by open, compassionate people who are willing to go the second mile with me; I want to learn how to take up that lifestyle myself as well. I want to see what it looks like to do away with timidity and self-indulgence, to live a lifestyle of giving, caring, and always 'being there' for people in my church and family community.

One European-heritage woman shared about the close connections in her family. An extended family member had a permanent disability, and - without thinking twice - she offered to care for this family member when the current caretakers became too old and weak for the task themselves. Everybody in her family does things like this for each other, she said, and she has felt shocked to learn of other families aren't nearly as close as hers.

When I heard her story I couldn't help but think of my Dad. What if something were to happen to Mom, my husband, my brother, or to me... I wish I could say with confidence that our church and extended family networks would be just as willing to care for my Dad the way the woman above is willing to care for her cousin. But I can't. A handful would try to help, definitely, but the majority would make sure they put enough distance between themselves and my family's need in order to protect their lifestyle from unnecessary disruption.

Mom's health is fragile, always has been, but she's caring for Dad 24/7 and the circles under her eyes are sinking deeper every day. The roller-coaster of stress, anxiety, restless nights, and depression that we all go through here is more than enough proof that we can't do this on our own. Yet for the most part we are doing this on our own. To be sure, there is certainly a solid handful of people (that committed 10%) who make their love and concern known to us in ways that make a huge difference - but in the larger context of our church and extended family networks the silence from everybody else is deafening. ...Sadly we do not come from a background like the African Americans, the Mediterraneans, the Amish/Old Order Mennonites, or the Asians.

What we could really use is people - family, church members, anybody - to come over, help us cook and clean, and encourage to Mom get to bed on time. We need people to sit down with Dad to help him learn the simple things that dementia has wiped from his mind, such as how to open and use his email account (because that's something Mom ends up spending several hours on each week), how to work the VCR, or how to otherwise re-sharpen his observational and memorizing skills. We could use friends to watch movies with us, visit with us, call us more often to ask how we're doing, help us all laugh more often, help us get a break from the situation, and let us know that we don't need to feel isolated anymore. We could also use financial help so that we don't sink further into debt while we wait for Dad's pension disability application to be approved, and while we wait for my husband to receive his open work permit so that I can finish school and get a real job as soon as possible.

What we could really use is a more authentic relationship with our church and family, the kind that doesn't gloss over or shy away from the ugliness and despair that life sometimes throws at us, the kind that doesn't bury its head in the sand, doesn't put on airs or wear a mask, but a real kind of relationship that isn't afraid to roll up its sleeves and put a hand to this plough that is too difficult for us to push on our own.

Our household has begun the "We Shall Yet Triumph Cable Countdown", aka the "Boob Tube Wake": In December we cancelled our basic cable package; the cable company gave us three months of free cable in case we wanted to change our minds (as if it were that easy). As of today we have 29 days left with free basic cable channels. When the clock strikes twelve on March 24th any filmed entertainment we catch will be brought to us by our home VHS/DVD collection, YouTube, CBC Newsworld online, BitTorrent, the local public library's VHS/DVD free rental section, the local public library's free Saturday afternoon matinées, other websites that are kind enough to post video clips (what would we do without the internet, eh?), and of course our trusty-dusty set of rabbit ears.

So now that cable's death knell has rung, it's beginning to sink in and I'm already seeing life from a new perspective. To tell the truth I think our culture has gotten us all addicted to visual entertainment. How many of us would go NUTS if we were stuck in a house for any length of time without television? Would we know what to do with ourselves? Think about it: No evening news, no documentaries or live sports. Forget the rental movies, Saturday morning cartoons, reality shows and game shows, not to mention the edge-of-your-seat dramas and cheesy teenage sitcoms... not that I watch cheesy teenage sitcoms; I don't. But that isn't the point. The point is we'd probably go dotty and stick our head in a microwave, or go totally stone age and pick up a book or take up a hobby like gardening, weight-lifting, or chess. We might even go beyond imbalanced and volunteer in our community. Heavens to Murgatroid!

Here's a question for you: If you had to give up either television or the internet, which would you choose?

I've jumped into a discussion with my fellow Facebook-ers... Facebook-ians... Facebook-sters... whatever we're called - in a group calling itself "Christians for Social Justice". I had mentioned the need for social justice within the field of Social Work, after which someone else also pointed out the need for social justice within the Church. He mentioned the Church's habit of emphasizing God's judgement of sexual sins, while a complete reading of the New Testament seemed to emphasize issues of poverty, oppression, and justice instead. My thoughts on the matter seemed to combine well as a blog post, so here it is. I look forward to hearing your thoughts:

I have also witnessed this kind of judging and stereotyping of people who commit 'hot button' (i.e. sexual) sins, while other sins within the Church are either winked at or just ignored, such as materialism, hoarding, pride, gossip, vanity, self-centredness, and recklessly wasting our wealth rather than sharing our resources to alleviate the desperate poverty that begs for compassion day in and day out around the world. It's clear that we need social justice in our churches as much as we do in the secular field of Social Work.

It frustrates me to no end when often times conservative Christians interpret anything 'social justice' as mere 'liberal propaganda' which is to be discounted and even scoffed at rather than trying to understand social justice from a Biblical perspective. North American political paradigms are imposed on Scripture, which ends up twisting and deforming Christ's teachings in the Gospels. "We can't talk about helping the poor - that would be too liberal. Didn't Jesus say that God helps those who help themselves?" No, Jesus didn't preach North American conservative capitalist Christianity - he preached a Truth about poverty, corruption, and oppression that transcends earthly politics. So why don't more Christians recognize what's going on? Are we too pitiful and self-serving to apply a little critical thought to how our lifestyle fails to line up with Scripture?

Meanwhile, in the secular world of Social Work everything Christian or 'religious' is interpreted as 'conservative propaganda' which is also to be discounted or scoffed at. I came to Social Work hoping to find a group of people who collectively value equality and respect, and stand against discrimination of any kind. Instead, I've run into one instance after another in which politically correct issues are supported over and over again while un-trendy issues are entirely ignored. I'm told that at my school Christians are the target of discriminatory remarks on the basis of their faith, and that Christians have reported discriminatory course material that stereotypes and vilifies their faith.

I experienced this personally when a video was shown in one of my classes that completely lambasted Christians because of their beliefs on homosexuality. Granted, this is a point of conflict with several religions with similar beliefs about homosexuality, and my problem isn't with the existence of this conflict of beliefs. My problem was with the extremely insulting, stereotyping, and oppressive way that the video portrayed all Christians, and that this was being promoted in a Master of Social Work classroom. I raised this point in a follow-up discussion in class, saying that social workers ought to take a stand against discrimination and oppression targeted toward EVERYONE. I stated that as social workers we ought to fight discrimination in peaceful ways rather than discriminatory ways. Otherwise, why are we in school for social justice at all, if we're doing nothing more than dishing out kindness here and oppression there, depending entirely on our whims and personal agendas? One girl argued against me, stating that this insulting treatment of Christians was a positive kind of therapy for the homosexual community. The rest of the class remained silent, including the professor. I received absolutely no support except from one woman who quietly patted me on the back and whispered "Well said," after the discussion had ended. So, rather than genuinely working toward a model of community that is based on inclusiveness, unity in diversity, and shared strengths and goals, those in Social Work who scream and yell about discrimination and oppression end up discriminating against and oppressing Christians as well as anyone else who's opinion is significantly different from their own.

My life's purpose seems to be speaking out about these inconsistencies in Christian groups as well as in secular Social Work settings. If I don't speak out about it all I think I'll implode, or self-destruct, or just go bananas.

At the same time, though, I constantly feel like I'm in the middle of a battlefield trying to talk sense into both sides, which can be a lonely and even dangerous place from time to time. You are not guaranteed any allies, nor are you safe from being attacked by either side. I wish I knew of people (current or historical figures) who've been in this position before - it would be helpful to know how they handled the antagonism, the accusations, the labelling they must have received, as I sometimes do, from parties in both camps.

Was it all just a dream? Or maybe a vision? No, it was real...

...last night around 1:00am I woke up with a sore stomach (what else is new), so I decided to get a glass of juice in the kitchen. I heard a shuffling noise coming from inside the fridge. When I opened the door I saw two furry hamsters rapaciously chomping at our romaine lettuce. I gasped in shock. They squeaked in surprise and scampered onto the floor, down the stairs and into our basement. Should I go after them? I wondered, Or maybe I should wake my husband first-

Just then I felt a defiant tap-tap-tap on my arm. I must be dreaming, I thought. Before me stood an old, melancholy dwarf, and above him hovered a bellicose fairy. You fool! spat the fairy, Now look what you've done!

Huh?!!

Mr. & Mrs. Hamster operate your furnace, and since YOU cut the heat they've been out of work. They have FIFTEEN hungry kids, don't you know!

As it turns out, our attempts to cut costs at home have had an unforeseen effect on Mr. & Mrs. Hamster and their undernourished children, not to mention the melancholy Dwarf who lives in our clothes dryer, and of course the furious Fairy that runs our dishwasher, as I found out when he slapped me with a rubber water tube. All have been out of work for weeks, and have organized a collective strike. Good thing my brother's in labour relations - we'll need him to take over negotiations.

My parents are putting in an appearance at the food bank this week - as clients. Hey, it's better than putting groceries on credit card, right?

Anyway, I've always felt uneasy about the food hampers they give away; I get the feeling that all these donated 'non-perishables' include loads of Mac & Cheese and other "fake food" that does nothing but turn to sludge in one's stomach. After all, we have some serious health issues here that we're hoping will actually improve - not worsen due to poor nutrition.

So a friend suggested that we pick up the hamper, wait until the shift change, then "re-donate" everything unhealthy. Oy!

There is No Me Without You: One Woman's Odyssey to Rescue Africa's Children
by Melissa Fay Greene

Thank you, Judy, for drawing my attention to this book on the problem of AIDS. The quote from your blog (below) which presents the African AIDS issue through the lens of reality TV made me think of the role of human suffering in entertainment - hence the U2 quote as the title of this post. Some extreme, though lesser known, reality TV shows that were spawned out of Survivor's success did cross the line. They used physical and emotional pain as a basis for shocking and entertaining the masses, and ultimately for making money. I once read a book on this topic called Shooting People: Adventures in Reality TV, which explored the dark depths to which people will go to entertain or be entertained. It made me wonder whether the flavour of our reality shows was beginning to resemble the Roman Empire's famous Colosseum, which, as we all know, found its pleasure in human death.

Our other collective reaction to human suffering seems to be such deeply ingrained apathy and neglect that nothing less than a shocking reality TV show could cause in us an emotional or even a helpful response.

Consider the following scenario comparing African clinics to popular reality TV:

These programs are "reality shows."
In Africa, by the hundreds and thousands and millions, but one by one, a person sits in a clinic waiting room, jumpy or still, feeling fine or feeling nauseous, coughing or not coughing. Or she squats outside in the dirt yard, holding her head in her hand, occasionally looking up and calling to her children not to wander too far. Each waits to hear his or her name called. Inside the examining room, a doctor or nurse or nurse's aide examines a slip of paper and looks up. The eyes speak first.
Negative: You advance to the next round. See you tomorrow.
Positive: America has voted. Your journey ends here.
There are no television cameras.
No viewers at home are cheering or weeping.
No viewers at home phoned in their individual votes. Most never knew anything was at stake.
"I have heard there are treatments," a woman will whisper.
"Not in our country," the doctor will say with a sad smile.
"Does it mean I will die soon?" a man will ask.
"Yes, I'm afraid that is what it means."
"I thought perhaps I just had a cold."
"No, I'm afraid not."
"...I have heard that there is holy water which is effective?"
"No. That is a myth."
"As I supposed. Thank you, Doctor."

So this is MY preferred premise for a reality show on human suffering: Us rich folk in the West give up any one frivolous expense of our choice, and see how many lives we save overseas from preventable causes of death. Here are some examples of what families might choose to do:

- giving up 5 manicures or 10 movie tickets could save someone's life (e.g. by providing leprosy medication)
- giving up highlights/lowlights or gourmet coffee for a year could save several families (e.g. by providing these families with goats - a source of milk, food, and income)
- the excess cash from buying an economy car rather than a luxury vehicle or SUV could save an entire village (e.g. by providing a clean water well, which ultimately saves thousands of lives and dollars by preventing diseases related to water contamination)

TV crews would visit kind-hearted individuals and families in numerous wealthy nations around the world who'd decide which of their usual trivial expenses they'd be willing to give up, and how they would donate the extra cash. Then our TV crews could follow these donations right to the offices of the NGOs (non-government organizations) and onward to their intended recipients. In the end we'd be counting the smiles that would otherwise have been wiped out by illness or death. It would be like a World Vision telethon with an Extreme Home Makeover twist, and it would be fabulous! What's more, I believe it would educate and inspire a solid portion of the Western population to follow suit. So, when do we start?

~*~

"I do sincerely believe that the world cannot sustain the lifestyles of the affluent." - India's Prime Minister Manmohan Singh, 2007

I received this quote from my brother which is found in Philip Yancey's book "The Jesus I Never Knew":

“Blessed are the poor in spirit,” said Jesus. One commentary translates that “Blessed are the desperate.” With nowhere else to turn, the desperate just may turn to Jesus, the only one who can offer the deliverance they long for. Jesus really believed that a person who is poor in spirit, or mourning, or persecuted, or hungry and thirsty for righteousness has a peculiar “advantage” over the rest of us. Maybe, just maybe, the desperate person will cry out to God for help. If so, that person is truly blessed.

Catholic scholars coined the phrase “God’s preferential option for the poor” to describe a phenomenon they found throughout both the Old and New Testaments: God’s partiality toward the poor and the disadvantaged. Why would God single out the poor for special attention over any other group? I used to wonder. What makes the poor deserving of God’s concern? I received help on this issue from a writer named Monika Hellwig, who lists the following “advantages” to being poor:


1. The poor know they are in urgent need of redemption.
2. The poor know not only their dependence on God and on powerful people but also their interdependence with one another.
3. The poor rest their security not on things but on people.
4. The poor have no exaggerated sense of their own importance, and no exaggerated need of privacy.
5. The poor expect little from competition and much from cooperation.
6. The poor can distinguish between necessities and luxuries.
7. The poor can wait, because they have acquired a kind of dogged patience born of acknowledged dependence.
8. The fears of the poor are more realistic and less exaggerated, because they already know that one can survive great suffering and want.
9. When the poor have the Gospel preached to them, it sounds like good news and not like a threat or a scolding.
10. The poor can respond to the call of the Gospel with a certain abandonment and uncomplicated totality because they have so little to lose and are ready for anything.


In summary, through no choice of their own – they may urgently wish otherwise – poor people find themselves in a posture that befits the grace of God. In their state of neediness, dependence, and dissatisfaction with life, they may welcome God’s free gift of love…

I do not believe the poor to be more virtuous than anyone else (though I have found them more compassionate and often more generous), but they are less likely to pretend to be virtuous. They have not the arrogance of the middle class, who can skilfully disguise their problems under a façade of self-righteousness. They are more naturally dependent, because they have no choice; they must depend on others simply to survive.

I now view the Beatitudes not as patronizing slogans, but as profound insights into the mystery of human existence. God’s kingdom turns the tables upside down. The poor, the hungry, the mourners, and the oppressed truly are blessed. Not because of their miserable states, of course – Jesus spent much of his life trying to remedy those miseries. Rather, they are blessed because of an innate advantage they hold over those more comfortable and self-sufficient. People who are rich, successful, and beautiful may well go through life relying on their natural gifts. People who lack such natural advantages, hence underqualified for success in the kingdom of this world, just might turn to God in their time of need.

Human beings do not readily admit desperation. When they do, the kingdom of heaven draws near.

Today I gave 1.1 cups of staple food to the hungry, I helped fund free mammograms for women in need, I helped provide basic but critical health services to more than 1,000 children, I helped children in need discover the joy of books, I funded the preservation of 11.4 square feet of endangered rainforest, and I provided the value of 0.6 bowls of food and care to a rescued animal in a shelter. How did I manage these wondrous acts, all before seven in the morning, you ask? Easy, I say! I visit The Hunger Site at: www.TheHungerSite.com! What's more, I do it every day - at no cost to my own taxed and tired bank account. That's right! With the daily click of a button I get other people - businesses, in fact to donate toward these worthy causes. But the success of this beautiful system requires that I visit faithfully, which is why I've got The Hunger Site programmed into my 'morning coffee' line-up. I highly recommend it to anyone else who wants to see other people help the hungry, the sick, and the disadvantaged on a daily basis. ;)

Serious health issues can lead to unemployment, which can lead to having more bills than money to pay for them, which can lead some toward creative money-saving outlets. My family has developed a respectable repertoire of options, many of which we're employing simultaneously. One of them is to keep our home's heat as low as we can possibly stand it - it's been hovering around 15 degrees Celsius for two or three weeks now, and we've already forgotten what it's like to feel warm. In fact, the other day Mom made a comment about the butter, which we keep in our pantry, and seems to remain as solid as the butter we keep in our fridge. We're confident that with sheer determination and sustained apathy about physical comfort we can keep our temperature here for the remainder of winter.

Another creative debt outlet I've devised is the Sock Contest: "How many socks am I wearing?" Guess the number of socks correctly, and you win the opportunity to buy each of my family members a brand new pair of moccasin boot-slippers! What a deal!!

Somewhere in Africa there's a little girl who's starving. Her parents have died from AIDS, and she has no one to take care of her. There are hundreds of millions of christians who could easily help her. But they've already given God the tenth they think they owe him, and the next thing they want to buy is worth more to them than her life. One week from today, her lifeless body will lie in the street, completely forgotten.
Source

What bothers me is the fact is there are too many Christians who value the typical consumeristic lifestyle and typical western toys (i.e. computers, games, movies, hair and make-up, cars, big houses, multiple houses, vacations, cameras, designer clothing, club memberships, jewelry, gourmet coffee, sweets and junk food, and other sorts of adventures, entertainment, and fun fun fun) over the life of that starving girl in Africa. I've struggled with this immensely, especially since my family's primary breadwinner became an "unemployment" statistic three years ago, since the line between 'want' and 'need' began to blur, and becomes increasingly unrecognizable as time goes on.

Months if not years of not quite being able to pay the bills has really gotten to me. At first we tried to hide it from the world, to pretend as though we weren't really in trouble. It was easy at first to go out with others, pay for the same things they were paying for, and otherwise maintain 'our' standard of living. We wanted to portray that valued Western image of 'having it all together', a world view that has grown increasingly annoying to me over the span of my family's continuing misadventures in the world of financial need. It took a year or so for me to realize that we were clinging to a spoiled, Middle-class sense of entitlement: 'We deserve our current lifestyle because we've worked hard for it and sacrificed a lot along the way. We deserve to keep buying clothes, consuming expensive gourmet drinks at Starbucks or Second Cup, eating out, and going to movies because it's always been this way and we can't imagine anything different. We've been raised with a certain standard of living and we deserve to maintain it, frankly, because we like it. We deserve it because we don't want others thinking we're cheap, unsociable, or (heaven forbid) poor.' ...Does everybody think this way?

But for us the feelings of entitlement didn't stop there. After finally making those initial sacrifices we realized that our situation would get worse if we didn't also sacrifice more basic Middle-class 'rights'. Here's a short-list of things some or all of us have recently given up:

Lifestyle Basics:
- basic cable TV
- warmth (we're keeping our thermostat set to 15 decrees Celsius this winter; to survive we've brought out blankets, sweaters, long-johns, and hot water bottles)
- the dishwasher (we're washing our dishes by hand to see if it saves in water and electricity expenses)
- one vehicle (I've become familiar with our public transportation system, while Mom and Dad use the van for work; our car will soon need a repair that we cannot afford)
- our regular long distance plan (we use a cheaper plan now, but we're still making fewer long-distance calls)
- our dryer (we're air-drying as much as we can)
- renting movies (we'll stick to what we already have, what's on non-cable TV, or what we can borrow)
- hair cuts (i.e. anything pricier than $15CDN per cut, not a big deal for men but a bigger deal for women whose cuts are normally around $30)
- Christmas trees (if it weren't for our Christmas wedding, we would not have had a tree this year, as in previous years)
- weekly newspapers
- real travel/vacations (for our honeymoon my husband and I rented a car, since my parents' car was dead at the time, and travelled a grand 2 hours east of here)
- an apartment for my husband & me (b/c my husband doesn't yet have a job and Mom and Dad can't afford their house on their own, we're all here together making payments which none of us can afford)
- our normal social lives (we've had to bow out of events with our church, family, and friends that required money, or where we were required to bring something that required an expense)
- concerts and plays (one of my most-loved groups of all time, the Rankin Family, is on their first tour in a very long time and I don't know whether they will ever tour together again, but tickets are $60CDN each, which is still breaking my heart)

Food and Groceries:
- cheese
- honey
- pizza (and other pre-made meals)
- meat (most of the time)
- bread (if it costs more than a dollar)
- 'gourmet' fruits and veggies (e.g. avocados, fresh berries, and any other produce only the fully employed can afford)
- Tim Horton's tea/coffee
- eating out

Sacrifices on the Horizon:
- health insurance
- our house
- retirement

You know, there are some things about unemployment and debt that leave a lasting, bitter sting. The toll it takes on our social lives is one example. I've had to decline invitations to church events because I could not afford the registration fee, and there is some shame involved in that because it does affect how people view me, whether or not they know about my family's situation. There are times when friends express a need and I feel like I may as well be wearing a big name tag that says "Scrooge" as I tell them that I don't have the money to help them out. I'm afraid I'll be seen as a moocher when asking for rides here and there if our car is out of order. I'm afraid people will be inclined to avoid helping us for fear we will become 'dependent' on them in short order. What's more humiliating is when friends/family, because they know our financial situation, don't tell us about social events or trips they're planning or costly items they've purchased for themselves. Are they trying not to hurt our feelings? Are they trying to elude feelings of guilt for being able to afford these luxuries while we cannot? Why do we get pushed to the margins of their lives when our income is significantly less than theirs? And why, for some people, does money determine whether and how we can spend time building relationships with them, since it's maintaining our relationships with them during these hard times that matters most?

But I can't solely focus on those who are much more comfortable and secure than we are. I think about folks I know who live in subsidized housing around town, people who live in shelters or on the street. I think about the African girl who has no food and will soon become a mortality statistic. Why do we need any of our Middle-class privileges when giving up just a fraction of them would save her life? What rights do we have to anything at all?

Which brings me back to what I've been struggling with lately. Entitlement: Feeling as though I deserve my own apartment, my own vehicle, new clothes, entertainment with church/friends/family, or trips to Europe and other places around the world. Comparisons: Seeing Christians who are rich and wondering why they bother to thank God for their gourmet dinner while that girl in Africa starves to death. Conviction: Wondering if we, even with little work, student debt, and bills hanging over our heads, are any different than the rich?