You never know the meaning of money until it's in short supply.

I remember the shock I felt one day. We'd been paying our basic bills on credit, a while after Dad lost his job.

So that day I overheard a girl talk about a great deal she found at a salon where she had French nails done.

"It only cost $20," she said to another girl, who seemed impressed.

My jaw hit the floor because at that time $20 was a fortune to my family. It could've bought healthy groceries, or gas for our car, or heat for our home. (One winter we kept the heat so low, our house felt like a fridge.)

Since then I've learned how easily we middle-class folk throw our money into non-essentials while others quietly exist in want.

I want to be more mindful of how I use my money and what it's value really is. What's pocket change to us might mean the world to another family who's fallen into hard times.

So I've tried to change my spending habits, and sort of see them in the bigger picture. I ask myself twice if I really need the item, or whether the 'sale' is really a good deal after all.

And I'll never look at a $20 bill the same way again.

I just realized the irony of posting a quote about gluttony on Thanksgiving weekend (Canadian Thanksgiving, that is). Trust me, this wasn't planned!

In The Pursuit of Holiness, Jerry Bridges reminds us:

20th century Christians, especially those in the Western world, have generally been found wanting in the area of holiness of body. Gluttony and laziness, ...for example, were regarded by earlier Christians as sin. Today we may look on these as weaknesses of the will but certainly not sin. We even joke about our overeating and other indulgences instead of crying out to God in confession and repentance.

How has the western Church come to this point where we wink at things God has told us clearly are sins?

This is just one example showing the reason doubters and critics and 'revolutionaries' within the Church deserve our attention these days. The Church is complacent, too many patriarchs and matriarchs of the faith subordinate voices of concern and dissonance in their midst. More often than not, I think, the Holy Spirit is the drive behind those voices, and in the Church's complacency we don't recognize His voice anymore.

It's all too easy, but we can't let ourselves slip into the same complacency we're seeing all around us in Christianity these days. It's far too easy to go with the flow than it is to swim against it, but sometimes general consensus, the status quo, popular opinion, whatever you want to call it, can be rebellious and unholy, yes, even in the Church.

If you're concerned about the Body of Christ and feel God leading you to say something about it, don't let yourself be shamed or discouraged for doing so. If He calls you to shine a light on some of these neglected, unseemly sins that seem to be staring you in the face, then don't lose heart: Keep following His lead, keep listening to His voice, and keep shining that light. You're not alone.

"Find out how much God has given you and from it take what you need; the remainder is needed by others." — Saint Augustine

There's no doubt each of us defines "need" differently, but Saint Augustine's sentiment can still inspire us to reconsider our 'needs' and 'wants' from day to day. An old conversation about money was recently revived at an online community at which I'm a member, which forced me to further evaluate my take on the matter. The member who originally started the topic wrote:

how & what did your parents teach you about the value of money?

My parents taught me to be responsible, not to put something on credit if we can't already afford it (that's assuming one isn't in a desperate situation with no other option), to treat ourselves once in a while without going overboard, to keep the cheque-book balanced and to pay bills on time, that extravagance is waste (i.e. *our* definition of extravagance, which is still very subjective), to tithe regularly, to be generous in helping others while saving for the future... My Grandpa actually taught me that last point by example too - he owned his own business for many years, and as a result he would often pay people above and beyond their fee for services (i.e. if they did a great job) and did on occasion offer someone a job specifically because he knew that person was in need. :)

However, through my parents' situation of long-term illness and subsequent unemployment over the last three years I've learned a whole *new* batch of lessons about money, possessions, and materialism. It's a new time of growth for me, because it's really the first time I've taken a good, long look at my beliefs on this. My family has recently learned to live without many things that we used to take for granted (e.g. cable tv, vacations and travelling, heat to keep us warm during Canadian winters, renting movies, expensive groceries like cheese and honey, new CDs, going to theatres, eating out at restaurants, and more). Sometimes we weren't able to pay our monthly bills, and during those dark days I had times where I felt as though I was drowning or almost as if I was being squeezed and was running out of oxygen. Very frightening at times. :(

Meanwhile, we heard how wealthier Christians were spending their money and I wondered: If they could just be happy with what they already have, pass up buying that next new whatever, and gift those savings to my parents instead... they have no idea how they could reduce my family's anxiety, restless nights, and tears.

I've been forced to face my own views on spending, and have slowly come to the decision to live with less - not to feel morally superior, but to prevent others from feeling as though they're drowning or running out of air in a situation they cannot escape on their own. Unfortunately these thoughts have taken a long time for me to learn, but I'm glad to have the chance to learn them at all!

Back to the original question, the same member asked us:

how do you view:
money - in general,
opportunities in which much money is earned,
ambition...what's healthy?

Considering everything I've learned over the years, especially through the hand my family has recently been dealt, my answer would have to be:

a) money is a gift and a tool we've been given, which is to be used wisely

b) opportunities to earn money - great! go for it! work hard, earn the big bucks (Schillings, Pounds, Euros, Yen, or whatever the case may be), take what you need, as St. Augustine wrote, and be generous with the rest

c) regarding ambition, if God gives us skills, knowledge, and opportunities to use them - then go for it! Dedicate them to work and to *other* pursuits as well (e.g. volunteering), and keep Love as the primary motivation behind it all.

“I do not believe one can settle how much we ought to give. I am afraid the only safe rule is to give more than we can spare. In other words, if our expenditure on comforts, luxuries, amusements, etc., is up to the standard common among those with the same income as our own, we are probably giving away too little. If our charities do not at all pinch or hamper us, I should say they are too small. There ought to be things we should like to do and cannot do because our charitable expenditures excludes them.” — C.S. Lewis (1898-1963), English author and scholar

My family's disability and unemployment dilemma has forced perpetual growing pains on us over the last three years, and the growth spurt seems to be going strong. The first year challenged my parents to come to accept that mental illness had indeed changed our lives forever. After much struggle they came to accept that unemployment would be be an indefinite reality in Dad's life. Meanwhile, my brother made the decision to sacrifice his own immediate goals in order to financially support my family. All four of us were faced with heavier stress than we had ever experienced, and began the long hard road through depression, fear, conflict, anger, grief, and illness - learning stress-management the hard way.

The second year brought into focus our family's fear of reaching out for help, even to friends and other family members. Our path took us to the verge of emotional breakdown before that line was finally crossed. I'm still scratching my head over it, actually, wondering why anyone in our situation wouldn't immediately seek support from family and friends! Maybe the problem has been passed down to us through our heritage: Families with a Mennonite background come from a tradition of hardship and hard work, and therefore might resist asking for help within family, friends, and church groups because it could be perceived as challenging tradition; it may lead people to allow pride or shame (or both) to prevent them from seeking tangible assistance. Or perhaps the problem is rooted in our political hang-ups: While there is a contingent of Mennonites across North America who espouse social justice ideals, there is also a contingent espousing economically conservative views who are vocal in their distaste for individuals or families who require any kind of social assistance, both formal and informal. This may prevent those in need from asking for help because they fear the ways in which they might be perceived or stigmatized as being lazy, abusers of the system, moochers, or thieves. A third possibility may be a distorted understanding of ‘humility’ and 'self-sacrifice' within our belief system that prevents those in need from asking for help, even in times of mounting distress. People may experience guilt from the act of help-seeking, believing that they must ignore their problems in order to help others. Well, whatever the reason, it's a problem that my family finally overcame last year, albeit painfully and under a heavy sense of defeat and failure. The road to accepting our current situation with grace has been a gradual one.

We are currently in Year Three, and our challenge this year has been to distinguish "need" from "want". We've sifted through our so-called needs, we've sacrificed, we've re-prioritized the usual commodities and self-indulgences that define the Western lifestyle, and we've learned to live on less. Even for a lower-middle class family such as ourselves there are things we can and will give up that will help those who live in extreme poverty. My brother and I have been especially challenged to re-evaluate Scripture's teaching on the lifestyle of charity and giving. We have a more intimate grasp of C.S. Lewis' statement above, that "If our charities do not at all pinch or hamper us, (...) they are too small. There ought to be things we should like to do and cannot do because our charitable expenditures excludes them." How terribly counter-culture that sounds, what a distinctly inconvenient, imbalanced, and extreme statement - not unlike Jesus' incitive teachings on love and sacrifice. ;) Lewis' conviction rings true in us regardless of how long or how deeply we may have bought into our culture's ideology of self-indulgence, because our conscience has always known the right and only way to love our neighbour. There's life in the pinch, especially if we choose to live without the extras so that others can have the basics to stay alive.

So, it looks like year three promises to bring another series of difficult, life-changing lessons. I think I'm looking forward to it.

I've jumped into a discussion with my fellow Facebook-ers... Facebook-ians... Facebook-sters... whatever we're called - in a group calling itself "Christians for Social Justice". I had mentioned the need for social justice within the field of Social Work, after which someone else also pointed out the need for social justice within the Church. He mentioned the Church's habit of emphasizing God's judgement of sexual sins, while a complete reading of the New Testament seemed to emphasize issues of poverty, oppression, and justice instead. My thoughts on the matter seemed to combine well as a blog post, so here it is. I look forward to hearing your thoughts:

I have also witnessed this kind of judging and stereotyping of people who commit 'hot button' (i.e. sexual) sins, while other sins within the Church are either winked at or just ignored, such as materialism, hoarding, pride, gossip, vanity, self-centredness, and recklessly wasting our wealth rather than sharing our resources to alleviate the desperate poverty that begs for compassion day in and day out around the world. It's clear that we need social justice in our churches as much as we do in the secular field of Social Work.

It frustrates me to no end when often times conservative Christians interpret anything 'social justice' as mere 'liberal propaganda' which is to be discounted and even scoffed at rather than trying to understand social justice from a Biblical perspective. North American political paradigms are imposed on Scripture, which ends up twisting and deforming Christ's teachings in the Gospels. "We can't talk about helping the poor - that would be too liberal. Didn't Jesus say that God helps those who help themselves?" No, Jesus didn't preach North American conservative capitalist Christianity - he preached a Truth about poverty, corruption, and oppression that transcends earthly politics. So why don't more Christians recognize what's going on? Are we too pitiful and self-serving to apply a little critical thought to how our lifestyle fails to line up with Scripture?

Meanwhile, in the secular world of Social Work everything Christian or 'religious' is interpreted as 'conservative propaganda' which is also to be discounted or scoffed at. I came to Social Work hoping to find a group of people who collectively value equality and respect, and stand against discrimination of any kind. Instead, I've run into one instance after another in which politically correct issues are supported over and over again while un-trendy issues are entirely ignored. I'm told that at my school Christians are the target of discriminatory remarks on the basis of their faith, and that Christians have reported discriminatory course material that stereotypes and vilifies their faith.

I experienced this personally when a video was shown in one of my classes that completely lambasted Christians because of their beliefs on homosexuality. Granted, this is a point of conflict with several religions with similar beliefs about homosexuality, and my problem isn't with the existence of this conflict of beliefs. My problem was with the extremely insulting, stereotyping, and oppressive way that the video portrayed all Christians, and that this was being promoted in a Master of Social Work classroom. I raised this point in a follow-up discussion in class, saying that social workers ought to take a stand against discrimination and oppression targeted toward EVERYONE. I stated that as social workers we ought to fight discrimination in peaceful ways rather than discriminatory ways. Otherwise, why are we in school for social justice at all, if we're doing nothing more than dishing out kindness here and oppression there, depending entirely on our whims and personal agendas? One girl argued against me, stating that this insulting treatment of Christians was a positive kind of therapy for the homosexual community. The rest of the class remained silent, including the professor. I received absolutely no support except from one woman who quietly patted me on the back and whispered "Well said," after the discussion had ended. So, rather than genuinely working toward a model of community that is based on inclusiveness, unity in diversity, and shared strengths and goals, those in Social Work who scream and yell about discrimination and oppression end up discriminating against and oppressing Christians as well as anyone else who's opinion is significantly different from their own.

My life's purpose seems to be speaking out about these inconsistencies in Christian groups as well as in secular Social Work settings. If I don't speak out about it all I think I'll implode, or self-destruct, or just go bananas.

At the same time, though, I constantly feel like I'm in the middle of a battlefield trying to talk sense into both sides, which can be a lonely and even dangerous place from time to time. You are not guaranteed any allies, nor are you safe from being attacked by either side. I wish I knew of people (current or historical figures) who've been in this position before - it would be helpful to know how they handled the antagonism, the accusations, the labelling they must have received, as I sometimes do, from parties in both camps.

There is No Me Without You: One Woman's Odyssey to Rescue Africa's Children
by Melissa Fay Greene

Thank you, Judy, for drawing my attention to this book on the problem of AIDS. The quote from your blog (below) which presents the African AIDS issue through the lens of reality TV made me think of the role of human suffering in entertainment - hence the U2 quote as the title of this post. Some extreme, though lesser known, reality TV shows that were spawned out of Survivor's success did cross the line. They used physical and emotional pain as a basis for shocking and entertaining the masses, and ultimately for making money. I once read a book on this topic called Shooting People: Adventures in Reality TV, which explored the dark depths to which people will go to entertain or be entertained. It made me wonder whether the flavour of our reality shows was beginning to resemble the Roman Empire's famous Colosseum, which, as we all know, found its pleasure in human death.

Our other collective reaction to human suffering seems to be such deeply ingrained apathy and neglect that nothing less than a shocking reality TV show could cause in us an emotional or even a helpful response.

Consider the following scenario comparing African clinics to popular reality TV:

These programs are "reality shows."
In Africa, by the hundreds and thousands and millions, but one by one, a person sits in a clinic waiting room, jumpy or still, feeling fine or feeling nauseous, coughing or not coughing. Or she squats outside in the dirt yard, holding her head in her hand, occasionally looking up and calling to her children not to wander too far. Each waits to hear his or her name called. Inside the examining room, a doctor or nurse or nurse's aide examines a slip of paper and looks up. The eyes speak first.
Negative: You advance to the next round. See you tomorrow.
Positive: America has voted. Your journey ends here.
There are no television cameras.
No viewers at home are cheering or weeping.
No viewers at home phoned in their individual votes. Most never knew anything was at stake.
"I have heard there are treatments," a woman will whisper.
"Not in our country," the doctor will say with a sad smile.
"Does it mean I will die soon?" a man will ask.
"Yes, I'm afraid that is what it means."
"I thought perhaps I just had a cold."
"No, I'm afraid not."
"...I have heard that there is holy water which is effective?"
"No. That is a myth."
"As I supposed. Thank you, Doctor."

So this is MY preferred premise for a reality show on human suffering: Us rich folk in the West give up any one frivolous expense of our choice, and see how many lives we save overseas from preventable causes of death. Here are some examples of what families might choose to do:

- giving up 5 manicures or 10 movie tickets could save someone's life (e.g. by providing leprosy medication)
- giving up highlights/lowlights or gourmet coffee for a year could save several families (e.g. by providing these families with goats - a source of milk, food, and income)
- the excess cash from buying an economy car rather than a luxury vehicle or SUV could save an entire village (e.g. by providing a clean water well, which ultimately saves thousands of lives and dollars by preventing diseases related to water contamination)

TV crews would visit kind-hearted individuals and families in numerous wealthy nations around the world who'd decide which of their usual trivial expenses they'd be willing to give up, and how they would donate the extra cash. Then our TV crews could follow these donations right to the offices of the NGOs (non-government organizations) and onward to their intended recipients. In the end we'd be counting the smiles that would otherwise have been wiped out by illness or death. It would be like a World Vision telethon with an Extreme Home Makeover twist, and it would be fabulous! What's more, I believe it would educate and inspire a solid portion of the Western population to follow suit. So, when do we start?

~*~

There's nothing like grotesque images of the biological consequences of a bad choice to provide a personal epiphany. Why is it that we humans need to SEE the impact of our short-sightedness before changing our ways, when we've known better all along? Why do we need to hit rock bottom before choosing a better path? Why is it that so many of us walk until our toes just barely cross the point of no return (or perhaps until everything but our toes has crossed that point) before it dawns on us that we may have let things get out of control somewhere down the line?

We all know that this blind descent doesn't stop at smoking. Many precious commodities of our spoiled, western lifestyle consume our attention and our hearts daily: Poor eating habits, poor spending habits, hoarding, alcoholism, pride, poor anger management, poor time management, self-centredness, workaholism, an unquenchable thirst for entertainment, vanity, little white lies, uncritical thinking, unfaithfulness, poor work ethics, consumerism, materialism, and especially living a dull, pacified life - a life without vision.

We each have our own little tendencies, but it's never too late to learn from the mistakes of others (see photo above), and from our own as well (you know what those are)! The difference between an unexamined life and an examined life is like the difference between wading through a dark, murky bog and charging through the waters of a crystal clear lagoon. We don't need hideous images to shock us back into reality. The reality is that at any moment - this minute, even - we DO have the wherewithal to deeply and thoughtfully consider each choice we make, this road we're travelling, where it's taking us, and how we want our choices to influence the world once we're gone.

"I do sincerely believe that the world cannot sustain the lifestyles of the affluent." - India's Prime Minister Manmohan Singh, 2007

As far back as I can remember I never believed in Santa Claus, but this morning my Mom unearthed a letter that I wrote to Santa as a kid. It was written just after we returned to Canada after living in Europe for a number of years, which is obvious because just about everything I ask for is very clearly stuff that I discovered when I was bombarded with the North American toy industry upon entering this country. I'm guessing that I wrote this letter as a school assignment or something like that.

Anyway, I read it out loud to my parents this morning, and we laughed. So here it is, spelling mistakes included. I hope you enjoy it!

Dear Santa,

My Christmas List

ANY KINED OF Barbie.
Slinky (not plastic slinky)
My little Pony newborn twinns (and other Ponys)
Moondreamers and there House
Rocker Barbie
Barbie or rocker Barbie sticker book
Lady Lovely Locks
Lady Lovely Locks stickerbook

That's it, Pleas writ back, I repeat Please writ back, I repeat 1000 000 times Please writ back!

In your letter that you are going to writ back, please tell me wat you can not send me!

I will be waiting for some of the things for Christmas!

Have a nice time rapping the gifts!

By for now.

Love
ME