The first 1.5 minutes of this clip oddly came to mind yesterday as I watched my doctor write out a prescription for me.

Background: I have fibromyalgia, a chronic pain condition that's also linked to chronic fatigue. It isn't degenerative or terminal, but it also isn't curable. It's often linked with stress or trauma, which brings me back to my doctor's prescription. It reads:

+ ATTITUDE > + PERCEPTION > + BODILY REACTION
- ATTITUDE > - PERCEPTION > - BODILY REACTION

You are where your thoughts are. Where do you want to be? Choose where you want to be. You cannot eliminate thoughts; replace them with other thoughts. Count your blessings.

Watching him write the prescription I couldn't hide the smile on my face.

"Have you seen What About Bob?," I asked my doc.

"No, I don't think I have," he said.

I explained the scene in which Dr. Leo Marvin writes Bob a prescription to 'take a vacation from my problems'. With a wry smile, my doctor reached for his prescription pad and asked: "Do you want one?"

I laughed, and said I'll probably survive without it.

Sure, it was funny. And yes, I'm a psych grad who knows all about the link between state of mind and physical health. But my problem is this: I don't feel particularly good, great or wonderful (watch part 1 of the movie for this quote) about reminding myself of Bob Wiley. Who would?

I suspect I may have hypochondria, to a small degree at least; my husband is inclined to agree. Fibromyalgia is a disorder that's definitely not a figment of my imagination, but the colourful spectrum of symptoms it inflicts upon me has undoubtedly messed with my mind. When I had intense pain and tingling along my spine three years ago, I was convinced I had meningitis. When my stomach was overcome with stabbing pains I just knew I had cancer. When my joints became excessively achy and more difficult to move I feared I had Multiple Sclerosis. When a birthmark's tint or definition alters, there's no doubt in my mind that it's melanoma. Fibro can cause my arms, fingers, and toes to lose their feeling, and at times I've suspected diabetes. My shoulder has been bothering me constantly for the last few days, and what's my first conclusion? Cancer. Why? Because as in most other cases my fear is based on a story I heard about someone who had the very same symptoms and did in fact fall victim to the deadly disease.

I don't enjoy fearing the worst, but with all the teasing I've gotten from my dear hubby I realized, Hey, hypochondria's not so bad! And here's why:

If you're a hypochondriac...
- you believe junk food is only going to accelerate your cancer, so you're more likely to make healthy food choices.
- you'll take very well to running, because fitness and good health will help you outrun heart disease.
- the doctor's office and health food store know you by name.
- you won't ever be like those people who stubbornly refuse to see the doctor out of pride or awkwardness; no, you're on the phone at the slightest twinge - diabetes will not get the best of you!
- you'd rather stay indoors and blog than hang out at melanoma heights the beach.
- when you die your epitaph will read: I was right.

So, is the list missing something? Let me know!

In a desperate attempt to escape my policy paper I tried out Tickle's Classic IQ test for the first time. Here's what they told me:

131: Your Intellectual Type is Word Warrior. This means you have exceptional verbal skills. You can easily make sense of complex issues and take an unusually creative approach to solving problems. Your strengths also make you a visionary. Even without trying you're able to come up with lots of new and creative ideas. And that's just a small part of what we know about you from your test results.

Wait a minute, how did they know about that little, black notebook I keep beside my bed in which I scribble away each night about my grand vision to spark a new enlightenment around the world? Bizarre.

Our household has begun the "We Shall Yet Triumph Cable Countdown", aka the "Boob Tube Wake": In December we cancelled our basic cable package; the cable company gave us three months of free cable in case we wanted to change our minds (as if it were that easy). As of today we have 29 days left with free basic cable channels. When the clock strikes twelve on March 24th any filmed entertainment we catch will be brought to us by our home VHS/DVD collection, YouTube, CBC Newsworld online, BitTorrent, the local public library's VHS/DVD free rental section, the local public library's free Saturday afternoon matinées, other websites that are kind enough to post video clips (what would we do without the internet, eh?), and of course our trusty-dusty set of rabbit ears.

So now that cable's death knell has rung, it's beginning to sink in and I'm already seeing life from a new perspective. To tell the truth I think our culture has gotten us all addicted to visual entertainment. How many of us would go NUTS if we were stuck in a house for any length of time without television? Would we know what to do with ourselves? Think about it: No evening news, no documentaries or live sports. Forget the rental movies, Saturday morning cartoons, reality shows and game shows, not to mention the edge-of-your-seat dramas and cheesy teenage sitcoms... not that I watch cheesy teenage sitcoms; I don't. But that isn't the point. The point is we'd probably go dotty and stick our head in a microwave, or go totally stone age and pick up a book or take up a hobby like gardening, weight-lifting, or chess. We might even go beyond imbalanced and volunteer in our community. Heavens to Murgatroid!

Here's a question for you: If you had to give up either television or the internet, which would you choose?

There is No Me Without You: One Woman's Odyssey to Rescue Africa's Children
by Melissa Fay Greene

Thank you, Judy, for drawing my attention to this book on the problem of AIDS. The quote from your blog (below) which presents the African AIDS issue through the lens of reality TV made me think of the role of human suffering in entertainment - hence the U2 quote as the title of this post. Some extreme, though lesser known, reality TV shows that were spawned out of Survivor's success did cross the line. They used physical and emotional pain as a basis for shocking and entertaining the masses, and ultimately for making money. I once read a book on this topic called Shooting People: Adventures in Reality TV, which explored the dark depths to which people will go to entertain or be entertained. It made me wonder whether the flavour of our reality shows was beginning to resemble the Roman Empire's famous Colosseum, which, as we all know, found its pleasure in human death.

Our other collective reaction to human suffering seems to be such deeply ingrained apathy and neglect that nothing less than a shocking reality TV show could cause in us an emotional or even a helpful response.

Consider the following scenario comparing African clinics to popular reality TV:

These programs are "reality shows."
In Africa, by the hundreds and thousands and millions, but one by one, a person sits in a clinic waiting room, jumpy or still, feeling fine or feeling nauseous, coughing or not coughing. Or she squats outside in the dirt yard, holding her head in her hand, occasionally looking up and calling to her children not to wander too far. Each waits to hear his or her name called. Inside the examining room, a doctor or nurse or nurse's aide examines a slip of paper and looks up. The eyes speak first.
Negative: You advance to the next round. See you tomorrow.
Positive: America has voted. Your journey ends here.
There are no television cameras.
No viewers at home are cheering or weeping.
No viewers at home phoned in their individual votes. Most never knew anything was at stake.
"I have heard there are treatments," a woman will whisper.
"Not in our country," the doctor will say with a sad smile.
"Does it mean I will die soon?" a man will ask.
"Yes, I'm afraid that is what it means."
"I thought perhaps I just had a cold."
"No, I'm afraid not."
"...I have heard that there is holy water which is effective?"
"No. That is a myth."
"As I supposed. Thank you, Doctor."

So this is MY preferred premise for a reality show on human suffering: Us rich folk in the West give up any one frivolous expense of our choice, and see how many lives we save overseas from preventable causes of death. Here are some examples of what families might choose to do:

- giving up 5 manicures or 10 movie tickets could save someone's life (e.g. by providing leprosy medication)
- giving up highlights/lowlights or gourmet coffee for a year could save several families (e.g. by providing these families with goats - a source of milk, food, and income)
- the excess cash from buying an economy car rather than a luxury vehicle or SUV could save an entire village (e.g. by providing a clean water well, which ultimately saves thousands of lives and dollars by preventing diseases related to water contamination)

TV crews would visit kind-hearted individuals and families in numerous wealthy nations around the world who'd decide which of their usual trivial expenses they'd be willing to give up, and how they would donate the extra cash. Then our TV crews could follow these donations right to the offices of the NGOs (non-government organizations) and onward to their intended recipients. In the end we'd be counting the smiles that would otherwise have been wiped out by illness or death. It would be like a World Vision telethon with an Extreme Home Makeover twist, and it would be fabulous! What's more, I believe it would educate and inspire a solid portion of the Western population to follow suit. So, when do we start?

~*~

There's nothing like grotesque images of the biological consequences of a bad choice to provide a personal epiphany. Why is it that we humans need to SEE the impact of our short-sightedness before changing our ways, when we've known better all along? Why do we need to hit rock bottom before choosing a better path? Why is it that so many of us walk until our toes just barely cross the point of no return (or perhaps until everything but our toes has crossed that point) before it dawns on us that we may have let things get out of control somewhere down the line?

We all know that this blind descent doesn't stop at smoking. Many precious commodities of our spoiled, western lifestyle consume our attention and our hearts daily: Poor eating habits, poor spending habits, hoarding, alcoholism, pride, poor anger management, poor time management, self-centredness, workaholism, an unquenchable thirst for entertainment, vanity, little white lies, uncritical thinking, unfaithfulness, poor work ethics, consumerism, materialism, and especially living a dull, pacified life - a life without vision.

We each have our own little tendencies, but it's never too late to learn from the mistakes of others (see photo above), and from our own as well (you know what those are)! The difference between an unexamined life and an examined life is like the difference between wading through a dark, murky bog and charging through the waters of a crystal clear lagoon. We don't need hideous images to shock us back into reality. The reality is that at any moment - this minute, even - we DO have the wherewithal to deeply and thoughtfully consider each choice we make, this road we're travelling, where it's taking us, and how we want our choices to influence the world once we're gone.