In Respectable Sins: Confronting the Sins We Tolerate, Jerry Bridges gently focuses our attention on widespread sins in the church. Not only are they common, but they also go unchecked.

Bridges’ confession

Before expanding on these sins, though, he makes a confession to his readers: He’s not perfect, he has committed many of these sins over the years and he doesn’t pretend to be any better or holier than the rest of us.

He makes this confession right at the start, helping readers to understand his humble attitude while writing this book, which ultimately helps us to accept what he has to say about these sins.

Seasoned Christians still have room to grow

Next, Bridges walks us through those familiar Bible verses about sin, salvation and grace. He knows he’s talking to people who’ve heard these things a million times, but he reframes them to help us see ourselves—that is, lifelong Christians who think we’ve got this faith thing all worked out—in the centre of God’s plan of salvation.

Even now, as seasoned believers, with years of Sunday services under our belts, countless worship songs sung, who knows how many prayers said, devotions read and volunteer hours logged, we're still sinners in need of God’s grace who have lots of room left to grow.

Down to the nitty-gritty: Sins Christians tolerate

Bridges covers everything from anger, judgmentalism, anxiety and impatience to worldliness, pride, selfishness and lack of self-control.

Sometimes we Christians purposely ignore these 'respectable' sins. Sometimes we just don't take them seriously. Gossip and materialism are a couple examples of this.

Other times these sins are winked at or they’re the subject of jokes. I can think of a few, but I’m curious which sins you (reading this review) would file under this category?

Bridges hits the mark

I’ve grown up in the church and consider myself to have been a believer most of my life, (You know, the ‘asked Jesus into my heart at age 6’ story), and I’ve seen each and every one of these sins in myself and in most ‘mature’ Christians around me.

Some of them, like materialism and selfishness, are shied away from in sermons, Bible studies, devotionals and especially in conversation with one another. We’re so hardwired from birth to practically idolize individualism, privacy and a citizen’s ‘rights’ to do whatever he wants with his money that we hardly distinguish them from the true sins of materialism and selfishness that God’s Word tries to guide us away from.

Other sins, like anger, are sometimes wrongly interpreted. I’ve been angered by serious sin in the church (e.g. putting personal comfort over helping a neighbor in need), and for that I have been accused of the ‘sin’ of anger. We Christians don’t know the difference between good anger (e.g. at cruel injustice) and sinful anger.

Bridges also missed a few biggies

Bridges really does justice to most sins that we Christians often let slide. He invites the reader, after reviewing each issue, to consider instances in our own lives where we have committed those sins and how we can return to a belief and a lifestyle more reflective of God’s desire for us, His Bride.

There are a few sins, though, I wish he had mentioned.

Love your neighbor: We don’t do it
The second commandment, to love our neighbor as we love ourselves, seems like a biggie in Scripture. And yet, growing up I’ve witnessed countless times when Christians have refused to help a fellow Christian in need.

Not helping one’s neighbor is often made to seem acceptable with the false teaching that people must suffer in silence, without asking for help, in order to prove that they’re trusting God. Scripture, on the other hand, is full of commands and examples of Christians tangibly helping one another and that this is linked to proof of our salvation. (See John Piper’s sermon on this.)

Church: The old boys’ club
I’ve gotta be honest. Sometimes the church resembles an old boys’ club more than a family of mature, caring believers who actually live by integrity. I’ve seen ‘mature’ Christians cover up fellow Christians’ sins and paving the way for that sin to continue. They also attacked anyone who brought those sins into the light.

Take the sexual abuse of children by clergy and other church leaders, for example. Consider the lengths to which ‘mature’ Christians have gone to cover up those sins, regardless of the fact that known pedophiles were free to continue abusing children because of the community’s collective will to keep it all quiet.

Accountability: Who's it for anyway?
Often the church patriarchs and matriarchs consider themselves above accountability. Their age and status in the community gives them a kind of immunity from it.

Jesus and Paul’s clear instructions to deal with sin and conflict in the church (Matt. 5:23-24; Matt. 18:15-17, 1 Cor. 5: 11-13) are only applied to hot button sins (e.g. divorce, premarital sex, challenging ‘authority,’ etc.). These sins are loudly preached against and the people who committ them are publicly disciplined, cast out, or otherwise raked over the coals.

What about extreme sins, like when missionaries and elders and pastors rape children? No, we’re told, we must pray for those leaders and do nothing more. If we break the code of silence, we’re accused of the sin of judgmentalism, vengeance, anger and so forth.

You know in some ways, the Church is seriously screwed up. That’s why these are some of the very deep and dangerous sins I wish Bridges had covered in his otherwise stellar work.

4.5 out of 5

Overall, the book was a huge encouragement to me, in that Bridges’ gentle treatment of these common sins paints a bright, uplifting picture of what the Church can become if we simply want to. All we need is to humble ourselves—I mean totally forget our privilege, status and years of service—and decide that our lives will not be a breeding ground for these sins anymore.

No sin is respectable.

Speaking of respect, it isn’t easy taking on the attitudes of overly comfortable Christians. I respect Jerry Bridges for the courage to share this unpopular yet urgently needed message with us.

--- Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from NavPress Publishers as part of their Blogger Review Program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commision's 16 CFR, Part 255: "Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising."

"...the worthier the individual, the greater is his loss to the living. The more he meant to those about him--family, friends, community--the deeper the grief and sharper the anguish..." Rabbi H. Halevey Donin

At first, my response to this quote was, How true.

On second thought, I had to ask, Who decides an individual's worthiness?
How do we measure someone's worth and their contribution to "the living"?
How do we judge one man's service to the world as more valuable than another's?

I've known some amazing, faithful believers and prayer warriors who served and gave of themselves tirelessly, but they still passed away without much notice from the rest of the world. I'm sure most of us know people like this.

Dad was a nursing home chaplain for a while and he often told us how his heart broke for the seniors who were lonely, who rarely had visitors, if ever. Their closest loved ones had already passed on and their living relatives were either far away or emotionally distant or just too busy to visit very often.

But these seniors had done amazing and sacrificial things in their time and yet no more than a handful of people would ever know when they passed away. I wonder if our not celebrating these quiet, behind-the-scenes servants is our loss, not theirs.

What about younger people who also find themselves without scores of friends? Maybe they're just more introverted, shy, soft-spoken folks. Maybe God called them to serve Him behind the scenes. Maybe He called them to a kind of service that was more humble than flashy. Maybe He called them to give all of themselves in service to one needy person instead of many. There are a gazillion good reasons why some people just aren't popular and well-known.

Not everyone's funeral will pack a stadium or leave a gaping hole in their community. But does that determine their worth? I think you and I both know the answer to that already.

It would be really sad if we believed our worth came from how many people loved us, or if our worth was based on whether we met other peoples' expectations. God works in mysterious ways. It could be that some of the people who struggled through life unknown and un-celebrated by the world turn out to be among the 'greatest' in heaven. God's the only one who decides the worth of a person's life and contributions.

Brothers and sisters, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. God chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him. (1 Cor. 1:26-29)

Nor are you to be called instructors, for you have one Instructor, the Messiah. The greatest among you will be your servant. For those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted. (Matt. 23:10-12)

Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path. (Psalm 119:105)

Keep this Book of the Law always on your lips; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. (Joshua 1:8)

When you think of *doing* the Christian life (or "doing the kingdom" as some people say) I'm sure we all think about telling others about God, praying for people, volunteering at church, loving our neighbour and stuff like that.

But when you think about "doing," does the Bible also come to mind?

Reading the Bible doesn't exactly seem like an active "doing the kingdom" kind of thing. It always seemed like a passtime for Christians, something inactive or passive that we knew we should fit into our lives between the praying and volunteering and witnessing.

Blessed is the one ...
whose delight is in the law of the LORD,
and who meditates on his law day and night.
That person is like a tree planted by streams of water,
which yields its fruit in season
and whose leaf does not wither—
whatever they do prospers. (Psalm 1:1-3)

I've heard the phrase "doing the Kingdom" used to describe a Christian with a vibrant, faithful, servant lifestyle. I've especially heard it used to distinguish this lifestyle from other Christians who are fixated on Scripture and theology without applying it to their lives--in other words, lots of knowing and very little doing.

But the opposite extreme can also be a weakness for some of us. If we think of "doing the Kingdom" as being an action that excludes reading, thinking, memorizing and discussing Scripture, we risk drifting away from our clearest and most tangible connection to God--His Word.

A few more passages come to mind:

Scripture cannot be set aside (said by Jesus in John 10:35)

After three days they found him in the temple courts, sitting among the teachers, listening to them and asking them questions. Everyone who heard him was amazed at his understanding and his answers. (Luke 2:46-47)

Jesus replied, “You are in error because you do not know the Scriptures or the power of God. (Matt. 22:29)

And beginning with Moses and all the Prophets, he explained to them what was said in all the Scriptures concerning himself. (Luke 24:27)

I delight in your decrees;
I will not neglect your word. (Psalm 119:16)

Thinking about it again, maybe exploring/knowing/discussing/revering Scripture is also part of the doing? Maybe our relationship with God's Word is just as alive and thriving and active as anything else we do as Christians.

Just thinking out loud here. I'd love to hear your take on this too.

*Please read the following post with tongue firmly lodged in cheek.

Here's one 'Christianese' saying I've heard LOTS over the years:

I covet your prayers.

Covet.

That's a sin, right?

I did a keyword search in the New Testament and not one reference to the word "covet" was positive.

So why use one of the sins condemned in the 10 Commandments to tell people how much we want them to pray for us? Won't they take us seriously otherwise?

I guess the simple carefree days of "please pray for me" are over. They're long gone. People need something more dramatic, some sign to prove how serious we are. Now-a-days we need to sin just to get on someone's supplication list.

It's like saying,

I need your prayers so badly I want to steal them.

I idolize your prayers about me.

I'll shun my parents just to show how much I need your prayers.

I'd kill to have you pray for me.

Or better yet...

I will bear false witness against my parents, steal their stuff, kill their parakeet and build an altar to you -- and I'll do it all on the Sabbath -- if only you'll pray for me.

You get the picture.

Carol Kent's book dedication struck me between the eyes. She says:

This book is dedicated to our

"Stretcher Bearers"

and to all of you who take the time
to respond to the needs of others
by answering the question,
"How can I help with tangible encouragement?"

Our "Stretcher Bearers" became the
hands and feet of Jesus to us
when we ran out of resources.

You have modeled a lifestyle of giving

that has forever changed our lives.

Please hold Gene and me accountable

for "finishing well."

Then at the end of chapter 1 Carol Kent poses questions for the reader on issues like "unthinkable circumstances," prayer, and so on. The next question she asks is incredible:

Are you asking for help from other people? If not, what keeps you from asking? (Embarrassment and self-reliance are possibilities.) Carefully consider what might benefit you most right now (and at each stage of your journey through unthinkable circumstances): Professional advice? A shoulder to cry on (literally)? Help running errands or keeping your household or business in order? A weekend away? Financial support? Whom can you ask to help you get what you need?

I find these questions so stunning because of how strongly they go against the grain in some Christian circles. Asking for advice or a cup of sugar is one thing. Asking for someone's time, energy, or significant resources are quite another, especially if the situation makes them feel uncomfortable. Discomfort--that reason alone was enough for my parents' church leaders to defend the members' absence from our lives when we needed support and compassion the most.

In a capitalist and individualistic culture that prizes privacy and self-fulfillment, asking for these things may cost you dearly. You might even lose relationships along the way, even in your family or in your church. And if you ask more than once, you'll receive a stern warning about "depending on God for your needs, not on people." They'll try to give you the idea that asking people for help is shameful--sinful even--because it shows how little you trust God to provide for your needs.

Well, don't believe them.

There are countless examples through the Old and New Testaments showing God's desire for us to take action to help people in need. Here's one story from Scripture that gets little airtime from the pulpit:

Acts 6:1-7
In those days when the number of disciples was increasing, the Hellenistic Jews among them complained against the Hebraic Jews because their widows were being overlooked in the daily distribution of food. So the Twelve gathered all the disciples together and said, “It would not be right for us to neglect the ministry of the word of God in order to wait on tables. Brothers and sisters, choose seven men from among you who are known to be full of the Spirit and wisdom. We will turn this responsibility over to them and will give our attention to prayer and the ministry of the word.”

This proposal pleased the whole group. They chose Stephen, a man full of faith and of the Holy Spirit; also Philip, Procorus, Nicanor, Timon, Parmenas, and Nicolas from Antioch, a convert to Judaism. They presented these men to the apostles, who prayed and laid their hands on them.

So the word of God spread. The number of disciples in Jerusalem increased rapidly, and a large number of priests became obedient to the faith.

The Greek-speaking Jews complained to church leaders because native Jewish widows in their group were getting food, and Greek-speaking widows were not.

Notice what the church leaders did NOT do in response:

• They didn't say, "Well, if the Greek-speaking widows aren't getting food, then it must be God's will."
• They didn't tell the Greek-speaking widows to put their "trust in God, not in man."
• They didn't make the Greek-speaking Jews feel less spiritual for making their complaint.
• They didn't say, "Well, you just have to understand that native Jews are uncomfortable around Greek-speaking Jews."

Notice what the church leaders DID do in response:

• They immediately met with each other to solve the problem.
• They recognized that the teachers among them already had a heavy work load.
• They chose believers from their congregation to fill this specific need.
• In short, they lived out the gospel!

Asking for help is not a sin. Be on your guard in case the spiritual leaders you trust try to tell you otherwise.

Christians ARE the hands and feet of Jesus in each others' lives, if God has given us a resource or skill to give, and IF we're willing to put others ahead of ourselves.

Stretcher Bearers... what a great concept. :)

I just realized the irony of posting a quote about gluttony on Thanksgiving weekend (Canadian Thanksgiving, that is). Trust me, this wasn't planned!

In The Pursuit of Holiness, Jerry Bridges reminds us:

20th century Christians, especially those in the Western world, have generally been found wanting in the area of holiness of body. Gluttony and laziness, ...for example, were regarded by earlier Christians as sin. Today we may look on these as weaknesses of the will but certainly not sin. We even joke about our overeating and other indulgences instead of crying out to God in confession and repentance.

How has the western Church come to this point where we wink at things God has told us clearly are sins?

This is just one example showing the reason doubters and critics and 'revolutionaries' within the Church deserve our attention these days. The Church is complacent, too many patriarchs and matriarchs of the faith subordinate voices of concern and dissonance in their midst. More often than not, I think, the Holy Spirit is the drive behind those voices, and in the Church's complacency we don't recognize His voice anymore.

It's all too easy, but we can't let ourselves slip into the same complacency we're seeing all around us in Christianity these days. It's far too easy to go with the flow than it is to swim against it, but sometimes general consensus, the status quo, popular opinion, whatever you want to call it, can be rebellious and unholy, yes, even in the Church.

If you're concerned about the Body of Christ and feel God leading you to say something about it, don't let yourself be shamed or discouraged for doing so. If He calls you to shine a light on some of these neglected, unseemly sins that seem to be staring you in the face, then don't lose heart: Keep following His lead, keep listening to His voice, and keep shining that light. You're not alone.

 Let me share a joke I just heard, about burden-bearing:

A child came home from Sunday School and told his mother that he had learned a new song about a cross-eyed bear named Gladly. It took his mother a while before she realized that the hymn was really "Gladly The Cross I'd Bear."

I'm quite discouraged. Another long-time member of my parents' church recently (just last week) referred to helping my Dad as "babysitting". I wonder if that's the predominant attitude about all this, as though Dad's heart, mind and soul are already lost, and it's just a crazy man who can't be by himself.

I'm just at the point where I don't know what to think anymore. So often it seems that we fit right into the James 2:15-16/1 John 3:17 scenario. So many people tell us they'll pray for us, but I wonder whether they actually do pray, and what they *really* think about my parents and our situation. And regardless of all that, their prayers are not backed up with tangible support anyway.

And I'm not talking about people who are burdened down with their own major struggles, but about those I've seen who do have the time to help but choose to spend it on watching television, going to the movies, hanging out with friends, playing video games, and so on. I just don't see how this is compatible with the Christian's calling in Romans 12 (v. 10-16). It's like the Christian life can so easily be compartmentalized... being spiritual and prayerful at church gatherings is fine, but then holding onto our "right" to fun, leisure and entertainment is also acceptable - even celebrated, because "God created fun" and we "deserve" it. How can the Body of Christ carry on this way without first making sure all of our members are cared for (1 Cor. 12:22-26/Gal. 6:9-10)?

I have no problem admitting that I used to be that way before my parents fell into this mess. Our struggle to find help revealed much selfishness and darkness in my own heart. But now that I've woken up to this in my own life, how do I live out Hebrews 10:24? I just wish the mature believers in our churches would realize it in themselves too, take that step of faith, turn their lives around and *truly* die to themselves every day the way Christ calls us to. Not just for my parents' sake, but for the sake of their relationship with God, and for all of the other people who could potentially be comforted and supported if only more of us Christians lived out the "always" in 1 Thess. 5:15.

How many of us praying, well-intentioned Christians are cross-eyed bears, and how many of us actually bear one another's burdens? How many of us truly bear the cross?

This is just my ongoing frustration with the culture of Christianity in North America as a whole. We're a long way off from Acts 2:44-47 these days, and I wish I knew how to help change that somehow.

I've realized a major change God has been working in my heart over the last couple years: Through my family's situation of need my eyes have been opened--literally for the first time--to Scripture passages about God's instructions to us about helping those in need. I've realized, and confirmed with a few theologians in personal conversations, that Scripture does lay out a clear path for us:

1) Give tangible help to those in our immediate and extended family who are vulnerable and needy

2) Give tangible help to members of our local congregation who are vulnerable and needy

3) Give tangible help to our family of believers who are spread around the world who are vulnerable and needy

4) Give tangible help to our unbelieving neighbours (locally and globally) who are also vulnerable and needy

The change that happened in me is a total reversal of my values. I used to be a lot more self-absorbed, into entertainment, spending a lot of time in my imagination, and tons of time doing goofy things with friends. Although these things are not intrinsically bad, I know that one day, after I'm no longer needed by my parents, I'm going to spend my free time helping others a great deal more than I will on the pursuit of happiness, diversions, entertainment, and so on. I know this because of how I feel these days when other people give up their leisure time to help my parents. They are an answer to our prayers, and one day I want to be the answer to many other peoples' prayers too.

It has been one week since my Dad's twin brother departed again, after flying out from Germany for a wonderful visit with our family. But this week has been difficult for Dad... the dementia messes with his memories of the visit; sometimes it was good, other times not so good, and on one or two occasions he was unable to remember the visit at all. It has also been a tumultuous week... Dad says he wants to see his brother "Now", and doesn't seem to understand why his twin can't just come back in an instant. We've had to handle fits of anger, despair, sobbing, and depression at all hours of the day or night. So we are tired and sick.

But it seems as though Dad is beginning to settle down again, thank God! And when he settles down, he often stuns me with the most breathtakingly profound spiritual thoughts and reflections, as he did again tonight as he, Mom and I read the Bible together (Psalm 119, to be specific...)

You know, my Dad is not 'crazy'... he is definitely not well as he struggles against the dementia, but he is still live in there, overcoming the power of the disease whenever he possibly can. And we are deeply appreciative of all of our friends who don't see a 'crazy person' when they look at Dad, but see instead a hurting and lonely soul who needs to be wept with (Rom. 12) and loved (1 Cor. 12) on a regular basis:

Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with God's people who are in need. Practice hospitality. (...) Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. - Romans 12:10-13, 15-16

But God has combined the members of the body and has given greater honor to the parts that lacked it, so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it. - 1 Corinthians 12:24b-26